Many of you probably remember chore charts as kids. Growing up in our very full and lively house of eight children, my mother used the chore chart primarily as a way to quell the arguments between us about whose turn it was to do which chore. She put up a calendar-type chart with weekly rotating cleaning assignments for each of us older children: sweeping, vacuuming, dusting, etc. (We had more or less permanent assignments for daily tasks, such as setting or clearing the table, washing the dishes, or feeding the pets.) Her chart worked as an organizational tool, but I would like to talk about using charts as a motivational tool for your child.
In my day care, the "potty chart" has proved invaluable. It's a simple grid with Monday - Friday at the top of each column. The child receives a sticker each time he/she uses the potty. I've found the potty chart to be very motivational - and the kids can't wait to show it to their parents!
This type of chart can be used for almost anything you want your child to make a habit of. I know parents who've used this idea for their child's morning routine, creating a simple check-off chart: Get Dressed, Eat Breakfast, Brush Your Teeth, Pack Your Backpack. Having a chart can reduce the tension of busy mornings - it's much easier and creates less of a power struggle to calmly say, "Did you check off everything on your chart?", than to constantly be saying, "Go get dressed!" "Did you brush your teeth yet?" "I told you to put your shoes on twenty minutes ago!"
(I'm all about eliminating power struggles between parents and their children - this type of conflict is a no-win situation for everyone. The parent loses because there are certain things we just can't make a child do, and the child loses because he/she has not learned a new life skill or habit. Anything that helps eliminate power struggles is a win-win!)
Motivational charts can be used for almost any age. Small children respond to immediate gratification (i.e. putting the sticker on the chart); older children can use the chart to work towards more distant rewards. Some examples: computer or tablet time, a family movie, Daddy or Mommy dates, a new toy - or even a financial reward if you want to use the chart for the child to earn a weekly "allowance".
The main requirement is consistency. (Actually, that's pretty much a main requirement for parenting in general, isn't it?!) Set up the chart, make sure you've explained it clearly to the child - and stick to the plan!
One word of caution: since this is to be a MOTIVATIONAL chart, it's important to keep the language regarding the chart positive. Always congratulate for getting stickers or checkmarks, and celebrate with the rewards. Be matter of fact about missing checkmarks or stickers - with small children there's no need to even point out missing stickers; with older kids, just let them know they can do better next time.
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